


Violet Blossoms and Celestial Objects

by blacklipscurse (bealeciphers)



Series: the Blue Spirit and the Warrior [2]
Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Body Image, Canon-Typical Violence, Deviates From Canon, Fluff and Humor, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Physical Disability, Romance, Scars, Source Material Warnings Apply
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28135548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bealeciphers/pseuds/blacklipscurse
Summary: Sequel to the fic 'Blue' in this series, begins shortly after the events of that story. Book 3 rewrite of ATLA.Having sided with the Avatar in Ba Sing Se, Zuko not only must navigate his new relationship with Sokka but returning to the Fire Nation as a banished enemy. His own journey of self discovery and personal growth must now coexist alongside  the personal struggles of every other member of the Gaang as together they blaze a treacherous path toward an unsure victory against Zuko's own father and nation.
Relationships: Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Series: the Blue Spirit and the Warrior [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056575
Comments: 145
Kudos: 1124
Collections: fire lilies (zukka)





	1. First Step Toward Summer's End

**Author's Note:**

> so much love and thanks to haley625 for beta'ing this chapter and helping me, she writes amazing work and I highly recommend checking out her ao3

“What’s next?” Iroh asked, holding a pair of woolen socks that appeared to have come from nowhere, and would not at all be necessary in the warm climate of the Fire Nation, clearly intending to add them to the bag in Zuko’s hand. 

Zuko frowned at his uncle, slipping a long brown parka over his head at Iroh’s insistence that _‘It’s chilly on that sky bison, Zuko, easy to catch a cold’_ and wondered how much longer this was going to take. “What’s next is exactly what everyone has been talking about over and over again this past month,” he reminded, sourly. 

As Zuko turned around, looking for the dao swords Iroh had found for him at the last port, he caught Iroh sneaking the wool socks into his bag out of the corner of his eye. Zuko sighed. 

“You weren’t _awake_ for a good week of that month,” his uncle reminded. 

Iroh sat down on the bed, a room that had become steadily more familiar and lived in the last three weeks Zuko had been in it. There was a worn mattress on the floor, where Iroh had taken to sleeping though Zuko had, only once, offered to switch beds. The desk on the far wall was covered now, in maps and documents, ink pots and worn, rejected bits of handwritten scroll; a papertrail of chaos that only continued in little bits around the room, indicating more than anything else how much time Sokka had spent in this room. 

Life on the ship had been as uncomfortable as an unreachable itch, everyone was waiting for the moment things were about the change again and at the same time savoring the time where it wasn’t as if that would slow the passage of time down. The hours still passed, though, and the stolen Fire Nation warship battered relentlessly onward through the waves, stopping only at three predestined ports for supplies and letters to be sent to their allies. Iroh had excelled in that regard, his connection with that White Lotus business had turned out invaluable in finding discrete mail delivery and even Chief Hakoda or Aang didn’t know about. 

Zuko himself didn’t have any allies to offer; he did consider floating Jet’s name but the situation there seemed like too much trouble to even explain. 

“And you’re feeling alright?”

“You _know_ I am, Uncle,” Zuko pointed out, not bothering to even look at him as this exchange was familiar. He pulled the cord of his bag shut before Iroh could sneak anything else into it, swinging the bag over his shoulder. “I’m fine. Recovered. Katara gave the all-clear.”

“Ah,” Iroh said, leaning over until Zuko was forced to look at him, “but are you recovered emotionally?”

Zuko glared at him. 

Iroh chuckled and raised his hands in surrender. “Alright,” he said, “though perhaps-"

“At this point,” Zuko said, standing over his uncle with a frown, “ _is_ there anything left to talk about?”

“I can think of plenty,” Iroh said, with a grin on his face but something sadder crossing his eyes. “Don’t blame an old man for being worried.”

“Drink some tea.” Zuko offered Iroh his hand and his uncle took it, reluctantly standing back up even though he’d just sat down. “You won’t have much time to be worried,” Zuko pointed out, “by the time you meet up with Jeong Jeong and connect with your sources, we’ll all be meeting back up again.”

“Oh, I can worry about you _and_ be busy,” Iroh told Zuko gently. 

In lieu of having to think of a response to that, Zuko leaned forward toward his uncle and let Iroh pull him into his arms. A hug. Iroh had grown incredibly fond of hugs lately, for better or worse in Zuko’s opinion. Now, Iroh seemed determined to squeeze the breath out of him as he pulled Zuko tight with a deceptively strong grip.

Zuko counted to ten in his head before saying, “Uncle?” 

Iroh sighed, patted Zuko on the back twice, and pulled away but left his hands on Zuko’s shoulders. “Remember what I told you, if you and Aang find yourself having a hitch in your training-“

“Go to the ruins you marked on the map,” Zuko said dryly, “I know.”

Iroh nodded. “Don’t forget to eat.”

“I know.”

“Use the eyepatch to keep the scar covered anywhere you could be recognized-“

“I _know_.”

“Don’t take risks, that Sokka seems to have a good head on his shoulders when it comes to his schedule-"

“I know, I-"

“But remember _that_ _talk_ we had…”

“Uncle!” Zuko felt a flush snap into his cheeks at that.

Iroh with a twinkle in his eyes, gave Zuko another pat on his shoulders. “Alright, alright,” he relented. “I’m just… it’s not the easiest thing for me, letting you go off on your own.”

“It’ll be over soon,” Zuko told him, “We’ll be back together before long.”

Iroh’s eyes opened and a shadow crossed his face, something dark, frightened, but before Zuko could mention it his uncle was shaking his head as if banishing a thought away. “We should…” Iroh said, his voice pained, “head above deck, before I- change my mind and… get on that bison with you.”

Zuko nodded. He turned toward the door, Iroh walking at his side, but as his hand reached for the handle Zuko hesitated. “I wouldn’t,” Zuko said slowly, “ _mind_. If you came.”

“I…” Iroh chuckled, “I would like to, Prince Zuko.” His arm went passed Zuko’s, finding the handle for the door and opening it himself. As he did, generic noise from the ship cluttered into their space, filling up what had been muffled silence with the hum of an engine and the shouting of distant voices. “If I didn’t have my own task at hand, I would, most definitely. Though I think a part of you might enjoy not having your old uncle hanging around your shoulders during this leg of your journey.”

“You’re wrong,” Zuko told him sternly.

“Am I? Wouldn’t be the first time I was wrong about you,” Iroh said, his voice light-hearted and teasing.

“It wouldn’t,” Zuko echoed, his chest feeling oddly tight and light at the same time. 

“Then, do my worries a favor,” Iroh said, stepping out of the room and into the hallway. Zuko followed behind him, his hands adjusting on the bag slung over his shoulders, something sinking in his stomach and he didn’t know what. “And do your best, for once, to avoid seeking out trouble on purpose.”

“Sure,” Zuko said, feeling uncomfortable as he said the words. “I’ll _try_ ,” he amended, stepping to the side as one of the water tribe warriors walked quickly passed them in the hall, “you do know my luck.”

“Not so unlucky,” Iroh muttered. He led the way toward the stairs to the upper deck, walking slower than normal and frequently turning his head to look behind him at Zuko. 

Two more members of the water tribe walked by them, going the other direction. Zuko hadn’t learned their names, though at some point he was sure he _had_ , but the amount of the warriors who’d found the need to personally introduce themselves to Zuko had been less than a handful; for the most part they regarded him with odd suspicion, or came up to ask an unprompted question ranging from a banal query about the ship to direct questions about Zuko’s father that couldn’t have been useful for anything. Ozai was right-handed, he wasn’t allergic to anything Zuko could recall, Zuko didn’t know what he spent his days doing, yes, no, the beard did actually look like that, and more, to the point Zuko had done his best to avoid conversations with the water tribe warriors as much as possible. Sokka might have asked Zuko to play nice to Hakoda, but Zuko wasn’t bound to do the same with the rest. 

The only one he liked at all had been Bato, a very tall warrior with burns across his torso and left arm, who’d approached Zuko initially to offer an eel-orca salve that apparently helped ‘keep the salt air from stinging where it hurts’. He’d been _right_ , and the jar had been a welcome gift with no strings attached. Bato never asked questions, he’d sit quietly on the deck mending a fishing net or casually talking to Zuko about Sokka, which was the only subject Zuko found himself eager to learn everything about. 

Talking with Bato gave Zuko something to do these past weeks while everyone else seemed busy; at least it was a way to occupy his time that wasn’t rereading Iroh’s handwritten firebending scrolls, or sitting mutely in his room, staring up at the ceiling, thinking over-and-over again about Azula, and Mai, and Ty Lee, and the fact each passing second meant they were rounding the northern isles and getting closer and closer to the Fire Nation. To home.

And thinking about what his father would do to him if he was _caught_. 

It was hard not to have his mind split in all those directions. Hard not to imagine himself back in the crystal catacombs beneath Ba Sing Se and ruminating about every choice he’d made, how things could have been different, if he had done what was right; maybe a part of him would always be there, hovering over that choice, remembering how impulsive the final decision had been, that if he’d had any other errant thought Zuko might have chosen differently. Pick Azula. Pick the Avatar. Pick nothing at all, freeze, and watch as-

“You alright?”

Zuko’s hand was on the railing of the stairs, Iroh standing at nearly the top step and looking down at him. He blinked, shaking his head and forcing his thoughts back in the present. “Yes,” Zuko said stiffly.

Steeling his nerves, Zuko’s hands flitted to the handles of the dao swords in the scabbard at his side and he took strong, determined steps up to the deck and into the sunshine.

* * *

It appeared as if each and every one of the water tribe warriors had something to say to Katara and Sokka. As they loaded Appa’s saddle with supplies the men would stop and join a crowd around the two. Somber warriors with forced smiles, dropping the looks on their faces only when looking at each other, talking loudly and occasionally laughing at something Zuko couldn’t hear from where he was standing. 

It was hard to see Sokka in that crowd. Zuko hung back, something in him stirringly anxious. He wanted to go, not just _linger_ here, waiting for an end to come with nothing to do in the meantime. He stood around awkwardly, after throwing his bag onto the saddle, before joining Toph, similarly doing nothing but waiting, by the sky bison’s tail. 

It was foggy, the sun still shone brightly but the sky itself was full of clouds. A perfect day for them to go and everyone knew it. No more delays, no more excuses that ‘one more day wouldn’t hurt’. 

Toph held Momo in her arms and frowned at nowhere in particular; but, every once in awhile, her feet shifted as she apparently changed her focus around the deck. ‘Seeing’ without seeing; Zuko still didn’t fully understand it. He also hadn’t asked. Whatever she was focusing on, either the gathering around Sokka and Katara, the two warriors at the far front of the ship doing nothing at all, or Iroh and Aang, standing as far away from anyone else who seemed rapt up in what was the last of their ‘spiritual’ discussions, Toph had an impatient look on her face mirroring exactly what Zuko was feeling. 

“I always hate this,” Toph eventually said. 

Zuko frowned down at her. 

“You know,” she elaborated, “ _leaving_.” Momo in her arms chittered, and then knocked her hand away with his tail to crawl up to her shoulder to sit. Toph let him, absentmindedly raising her hand for Momo to sniff. “No one can just get it over with and say ‘bye’ and _I’m_ always stuck _waiting_.”

“Hm,” Zuko said. He crossed his arms, raising his neck to look over at the crowd of people, hoping to glimpse something familiar he could attribute to Sokka. Instead, he saw Hakoda stepping away. As the man began to walk away from the others he seemed to be coming straight for Zuko. 

“‘Goodbye, see you in a month at the invasion’,” Toph grumbled, “see? It’s not that hard.”

“I guess,” Zuko said, not paying much attention to her as Hakoda drew closer. 

“The sooner we leave, the sooner we’ll met up again, and I- oh, hi.”

“Toph,” Hakoda stopped in front of them both. He gave Toph a glance, and a smile, before turning his gaze to Zuko and squaring up his shoulders, “Zuko.”

“Chief Hakoda,” Zuko said. 

“I was hoping to talk to you for a moment,” Hakoda said, in a tone of voice that sounded like an order. 

Zuko tried to keep his face neutral, while every part of him was rankled. The one good thing about leaving, he decided right then, was that Zuko would no longer have to ‘ _play nice_ ’ to a man with no actual authority over him, the whole time with a pit of nerves in his stomach over the possibility of saying the wrong thing and disappointing Sokka.

“So…” Hakoda’s words trailed off. He looked at Toph, who was standing there seemingly disinterested, and Zuko who had made no effort to walk away. “Fine, this is…” he took in a deep breath, “Zuko.”

“Yes,” Zuko said stiffly. His hands twitched along his upper arms as he left his arms crossed. 

Hakoda cleared his throat. “I…” he started to say, then stopped, looking confused for a moment before he eventually continued, “keep an eye on them for me.”

Zuko blinked. “I… ‘them’?” He asked, not sure what exactly Hakoda thought he could do that either Katara or Sokka _couldn’t_.

“Yes, I,” Hakoda looked behind himself, toward the group of warriors that was only now slowly dispersing, “you are the only… just take care of them. They’re young, the Fire Nation is very… different.” His face was tense, pained. 

_Worried_ , Zuko recognized. That’s what this was, why everyone was lingering around them, delaying their departure with fleeting conversations as best they could. Iroh, Hakoda, all the water tribe warriors, they were worried. He was sending his children off into enemy territory, only for a month, while having a reason for doing so and yet, he was afraid. 

Maybe it was because he was nearer to his father than he’d been in years, but Zuko couldn’t help but wonder if Ozai had any sliver of that same emotion when he’d banished Zuko away.

Zuko knew the answer as soon as he’d thought the question. Of course not. It was stupid to have even thought it. 

“Yeah we will,” Toph said suddenly, breaking several seconds of silence, “you can count on us, Chief Hakoda.”

“I… right,” Hakoda said slowly, awkwardly, as he looked down at Toph 

Zuko frowned. He peered over Hakoda’s shoulder toward his uncle and Aang. Iroh had a hand on Aang’s shoulder and Aang was smiling up at him. 

Something stuck in the base of Zuko’s throat, a hard lump of feeling he couldn’t swallow away. _It won’t be long._ Zuko knew that. Intellectually. In his head he, he knew that. It didn’t make the idea of being away from Iroh any easier; especially not now, not when they’d grown so _close_ , not when Zuko had truly cut himself from his father and Azula, and Iroh was the only family he had left. 

Toph punched him in the shoulder. 

Not expecting it, Zuko had to take a step to the side to rebalance. He grabbed his arm, stinging above the elbow, and glared down at her. “What was _that_ for?” Zuko demanded. 

“Stop moping,” Toph scoffed at him, “you’re almost as bad as the others.”

“Take care, both of you,” Hakoda said quickly, before Zuko had a chance to ask Toph what she meant. He stepped forward, an odd look on his face, his eyes flitting from Toph to Zuko. 

Hakoda patted them both on the shoulder. Then he walked away. 

“Weird,” Toph muttered. 

Zuko nodded, forgetting she couldn’t see it. Then, feeling awkward, said, “Yes.”

“At least _my_ parents aren’t here,” Toph said brightly, light-hearted. Zuko looked down at her though, and she was frowning. 

“If my father was here, this whole war would be over,” Zuko pointed out. 

“You’d have thought that was hilarious if you’d ever met my parents.” Toph chuckled. “C’mon then.” She turned around, picking Momo off her shoulder and holding him over her head as high as her arms could reach toward Appa’s saddlg. Practiced and light, the lemur jumped up onto the sky bison and quickly disappeared out of sight. “Help me up, I’m blind.”

“I _know_ you’re blind,” Zuko reminded her, with a twinge of annoyance. He figured he could lift her, but when he brought his hands to her armpits to do so Toph knocked him away. 

“Give me a boost,” she demanded, “don’t pick me up, I’m not a baby.”

Zuko rolled his eyes at her but knelt down. Toph lifted one foot and Zuko cupped his hands together underneath. She stood up on him as Zuko pushed upward and in a moment her hands gripped the side of the saddle and Toph scrambled up. 

“What about you?” Toph called down to him, “Need a hand?”

Zuko looked behind him, at Iroh and Aang still talking, Hakoda walking back over to Sokka and Katara, everyone else still just _lingering_. “No,” Zuko said, “I’ve got it.”

He took one step back, and with a small jump his hands were on stiff Air Nomad leather as he effortlessly pulled himself up and over. 

* * *

The others took another twenty or thirty minutes, Zuko couldn’t directly see the sun but he could still feel it, rising up in the midmorning sky. Toph, bored, taught him a guessing game with their fingers based on making symbols of the nations all while grumbling about how _anything_ beating _earth_ didn’t make any sense to her; Zuko pointed out it seemed to follow the Avatar cycle not actual battling, and Toph shrugged but kept making her point. It was at least something to do. 

From the height of the saddle, and as some of the water tribe warriors left to return, Zuko was able to see Sokka now. It didn’t feel right though, looking down at him and the tearful goodbyes with the others while he didn’t know Zuko was watching him. 

So, Zuko turned his attention to Toph. He asked what Appa ate while they traveled, Toph told him she had no idea. 

They went back to the game. Toph won every time and Zuko was certain she was cheating but couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Then, without warning, like some unheard gong had rung, Aang bounded over and onto the head of the saddle, taking the reins of the sky bison in his hands. What lingered of the water tribe warriors, Hakoda, Bato, and a couple others whose names Zuko had forgotten, watched along with Iroh as Katara and Sokka finally made their way toward Appa. They were both wearing cloaks over their blue clothing, which would be enough of a disguise until they managed to find a change of clothes in the Fire Nation. Katara marched her way over, quick and determined, but Sokka took several long looks backward. 

Zuko was at the edge of the saddle and had his hand down toward Sokka several seconds before Sokka turned his head around and noticed.

Sokka blinked, looking at Zuko’s hand like he wasn’t sure what it was for a moment, while Katara meanwhile swung herself up onto the bison with little difficulty. Zuko kept his hand down, waiting. 

After a second’s hesitation, Sokka took Zuko’s hand and looked up at him with a grin. 

The bit of breath Zuko had been holding left in a relieved sigh. _Good_. And he pulled up hard, helping Sokka up into the saddle. Maybe Sokka hadn’t needed the assistance, probably not, considering Katara had hardly any trouble getting up and she and Sokka had an equal amount of practice; but it was fine, Sokka hand smiled at him and Zuko helped him up.

Their hands stayed, holding each other as both of them looked back. 

Iroh raised a hand, a somber wave, an expression on his face that wasn’t readable from this distance, and Aang slapped the reigns and announced “Yip, yip!”

Something hurt, deep and painful in the center of Zuko’s chest as they rose and Iroh faded away from sigh. Familiar, _lonely_. He had to tell himself, as the feeling threatened to keep him from breathing, that this wasn’t the same as before. He wasn’t being sent away because Iroh _wanted_ him gone, it wasn’t the same. Still, the moment the ship was truly out of sight as the sky bison rose above the clouds, Zuko couldn’t stop a strange emptiness building inside him, as strong and persistent as if he’d lost a limb. 

* * *

Zuko asked Sokka if he was alright, and he had said he was. Sitting at Zuko’s side, his expression calm as he looked out at the clouds they flew slowly by, Sokka was quiet. Which didn’t seem alright, in Zuko’s opinion. Sokka was hardly quiet as a rule and Zuko liked that. He liked the way Sokka could always fill empty air with conversation no matter how mundane or seemingly random. Sokka was _loud_ , with his expressions, gestures, and his general being; but now he… wasn’t. 

Appa grumbled, which Zuko could feel under his feet even through his shoes.

The reins tangled in his hand, Aang was whistling into air that barely kept his tune as wind rushed by them as they went higher into the sky. At the cantle of the saddle, Toph was laying back with her arms supporting her head, feet crossed over one of her knees so she could pick at her toes; directly across from her, near Aang, Katara appeared to be deliberately avoiding looking at her. Her head was bent down over one of her waterbending scrolls and a thin blanket rested on her lap to perhaps counter the chill from the wind. 

Zuko wondered if he should take out his scrolls. Go over the words again even though he already knew his first lesson plans by heart. At least it would be something _else_ to do, besides sit at Sokka’s side and stare at the back of his head wondering what he was thinking. 

Sokka’s elbows were leaning against the ridge of the saddle, feet kicked out from under him to spread over a fur blanket Sokka or Katara must have brought along. He was frowning, eyes narrowed as he gazed out at the clouds, the cloak tucked against his leg to keep it from billowing while the wind bustled a single loose hair from his wolftail against his ear. Sokka tended to always miss at least one, or perhaps they came loose as he walked around, Zuko wasn’t sure. What Zuko _did_ know, though, was that a single hair should not at all be so fascinating as to be the only thing he’d wanted to look at for the last half an hour. 

Hair that tickled the ends of an ear, cheeks with that dusting of light brown freckles Zuko knew now to look for, wide blue eyes staring into the blue sky-

“I’m bored!”

Zuko flinched violently, his elbow knocking against the wooden back of the saddle. He hissed, and glared at Toph, and seethed. “ _What_?!”

Toph threw her arms up in the air and groaned. 

“You don’t have to be…” Katara started to say, leaning forward with a scowl toward Zuko. 

“It _has_ been quiet,” Aang said loudly as he looked behind him. 

“... _mean_!” Katara finished. 

Zuko frowned at her. With thunderously storming blue eyes, Katara met his gaze and frowned right back. 

“Whoa, hey,” Sokka sat up on his knees, scooting forward in the saddle toward the middle. He raised his hands. “We have about three more hours of flying today, we have to round the coast and get a few miles down the river before we can land by the village in Kaikyo.”

“I _know_ ,” Katara said, crossing her arms, “you’ve told us ‘the schedule’ a thousand times already.”

Toph, even louder, groaned again. “But do we have to be _quiet_?”

Aang, still holding the reins but now loose around his stomach, turned his entire body around and gave the group a wide grin that seemed almost too huge on his face. “Of course not!”

“Ah,” Sokka said with a shrug, “good day, Lady Toph, and how are the peonies growing in this season?”

Zuko blinked at him.

“Oh, you know _peonies_ ,” Toph scoffed, “almost as stubborn as _hibiscus_.”

Sokka brought his hand to his chin. “Hibiscuses? Hibuscus? Hibiscupopolis?”

Katara snorted. “Hibiscupippinpaddleopsicopolis?” She asked. 

_What?_

“Back in _my day_ ,” Aang said, in a suddenly gravely and aching voice like an old man, “they were hibiscusi.”

“Aha,” Sokka said, lifting his tone with a weirdly dignified tone, “what does our resident firestarter think?” He looked at Zuko. 

They _all_ looked at Zuko, clearly expecting him to say something. He didn’t know what, didn’t even know what was going on, everyone had suddenly started spouting _nonsense_ out of _nowhere_ and Zuko couldn’t help but wonder if he’d fallen asleep or hit his head despite being certain he hadn’t. 

Sokka leaned slightly forward, eyebrows furrowed. 

“Uh…” Zuko flickered his gaze from Sokka, to Aang, then turned his head to look at Toph. “Hibiscus…” he said slowly, “can be a type of tea?”

Katara sighed and when Zuko glared at her she was rolling her eyes. 

“Well, it _is_ a type of tea,” Aang pointed out. 

“What?” Zuko demanded, “What are you all even _saying_?!”

Toph loudly cracked her neck and said, casually, “No idea. That’s kind of the point.”

“Then it’s just _nonsense_ ,” Zuko said angrily, crossing his arms. 

Aang tucked the reins of the sky bison into his lap, still sitting backwards so he could face the others while balanced on the head of the saddle. He seemed thoughtful, though he was looking right at Zuko in a way that made Zuko’s skin itch. “What kind of games do you normally play?” Aang asked. 

Zuko stared at him. 

“Whoa, okay,” Sokka said, holding his palms up again. He pushed himself backward, to Zuko’s side. “Look, let’s just leave Zuko alone for-" he started to say, raising his right arm up and then over Zuko’s shoulder. 

“Aang _just_ asked Zuko about games,” Katara pointed out harshly, “it’s not an _interrogation_ , Sokka.”

Sokka’s arm settled on Zuko’s shoulder, hand dangling down from his neck as Sokka leaned against Zuko’s side. Which was nice. Warm. Probably the only reason Zuko didn’t think of something to say back to Katara. “I didn’t say anything about an ‘interrogation’,” Sokka said. 

“Then why are you acting like you have to _protect_ him from a question about games?” Katara crossed her arms and scowled. 

“I don’t need him to-" Zuko began.

“I’m not _protecting_ -" Sokka said angrily.

“Pai sho!” Zuko shouted. “I’ve played pai sho! Alright?”

Toph whistled something and Aang coughed. For a moment, Zuko could practically feel how uncomfortable everyone else was feeling as the entire saddle was quiet, even Momo, curled up on one of the blankets, didn’t make a sound. 

“So…” Sokka said slowly, “pai sho.”

“How are we supposed to play _pai sho_ on Appa,” Katara asked sourly. “Does anyone even _have_ a game board?”

“I… I have _one_ pai sho piece,” Aang offered, “Iroh gave it to me.”

“Look he answered the-" Sokka paused, took a deep breath, and pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand.

Zuko leaned back against Sokka’s arm, scowling as he did at Katara who frowned right back. “What is even the point of this?”

“Playing a game?” Aang asked, “It’s fun! We can get to know each other better.”

“And someone gets to win,” Toph added with a grin.

“Like uh,” Aang said, biting his lip for a moment while he thought, “if you could be any animal, what would you want to be?”

Zuko met Sokka’s curious eyes and felt like something in his chest was dying, as Sokka looked about as eager for an answer as Aang. “What…” Zuko asked Sokka with disbelief, “ _animal_?”

Sokka shrugged with the shoulder that wasn’t wrapped around Zuko’s back and said, nonchalantly as if this was a perfectly normal conversation, “I think I’d be a crabeater skua.”

Katara chuckled. 

Sokka looked at Zuko’s face for a moment and then continued, “They’re these fat little seals with feathers that can’t fly and… well, they’re pretty funny looking.”

Zuko forced himself to take a deep breath in through his nose.

“It’s just…” Sokka said, sounding a bit nervous, “a dumb thing that passes the time. Believe me, spending hours flying on Appa gets old _fast_.”

Aang leaned over the edge of the saddle, patting his hand down on the flying bison and said sweetly, “He doesn’t mean it, buddy. Flying with you is the best.”

Sokka rolled his eyes, just barely, a subtle enough gesture that Zuko was only sure he noticed it. And he smiled. Sokka bent his knee and nudged it against Zuko’s, and Zuko felt, for once today, his mouth twitching upward. He was glad, at the very least, Sokka was here. Reassuring, with his arm on Zuko’s shoulder; that was nice. Calming. 

“If Zuko doesn’t want to play a game,” Katara said, interrupting Zuko’s train of thought, “he doesn’t want to play. It’s your fault for dating a no-fun sourpuss, Sokka.”

Sokka scoffed. “Zuko is _not_ a no-fun sourpuss. Right, Zuko?”

Just like that, Zuko once again had no idea what anyone was talking about. 

“Can we just do _something_?” Toph asked, sounding more annoyed than Zuko had ever heard her before. “Unlike _you people_ I can’t read a scroll or a map to pass the time.”

“Well, what’s a game everyone likes?” Aang asked, sitting back up from the front of the saddle where he’d been petting Appa’s head. 

Katara crossed her arms. “Good luck getting everyone to agree,” she said, shooting Zuko a glance. 

“Look,” Toph said with a sigh, “just _anything_ is better than silence.” She thought for a moment. “Well, anything better than ‘what’s that cloud look like?’”

Zuko reached out for his bag, adjusted himself more comfortably against Sokka, and pulled out the first of his uncle’s firebending scrolls to ignore whatever new inane conversation the Avatar’s companions were about to start. 

* * *

The hours were gone too quickly, in Zuko’s opinion. The voices of the others faded into dull noise in the back of his head and Sokka’s presence was steady and warm, so it was without warning when he felt his stomach drop and suddenly they were descending. 

If Toph’s reaction to the bison landing on the shore was any indication, they might have been in the sky for weeks. She launched herself onto the ground, immediately exclaiming as loudly as possible to all of them how good it felt to be on land again. “ _Even_ sand,” Toph had said, which appeared to be an important distinction as Katara nodded knowingly. 

It was only early evening but the cliffs rising above the spot they’d chosen for the night hid the sun, making the cave opening where they’d be spending the night seem all the darker. There was a village somewhere nearby, but Sokka had been right to insist they spend extra time looking for a proper place to camp; there was little chance anyone would stumble across them. While connected by the shore to the forest around them, this specific part of the land would be inaccessible to anyone walking by during high tide without a bit of swimming or at least wading through water.

Zuko slung his bag over his shoulder as Katara and Sokka did the same, the others quickly gathering a few things they needed and jumping off the bison to join Toph while Zuko let himself linger for a moment. 

It was just a beach, a cliff, and a cave. A few birds fluttering overhead, the ocean crashing onto sand, nothing in particular that made this patch of the Fire Nation seem any different from the Earth Kingdom. But Zuko _felt_ it. 

He wished, as his hand stilled over the lip of the saddle, one foot dangling down and the other still above, with _everything_ Zuko wished he could say he recognized his homeland with his heart. Or by the breed of the birds. Maybe some deep, powerful sense of familiarity. The only thing Zuko did feel was a clench of fear in his chest strong enough to stall his lungs. 

He was _banished_. He’d never been _unbanished_. And there would be no room for doubt, no excuse, not like when he’d followed Aang to Crescent Island. Traitor. 

Zuko’s blood pounded a rhythm in his ears in tune with the waves slapping against the shore. Why _this_? Why _now_? After how many hours on the voyage over here where he’d reminisced over volcanic soil and the smell of cherry blossoms blooming in the summer, why was he looking at his first step _back_ and now seeing only his head beneath a sword?

“Hey.”

Sokka’s voice. Zuko lifted his gaze just slightly to see an outstretched hand reaching up toward him. 

From the ground below, Sokka gave him a quiet smile. “You coming?” He asked. 

_Breathe_ , Zuko reminded himself, and nodded. He took Sokka’s hand. 

Zuko jumped easily down from the bison and landed on the sand. It was just sand, like all sand was. Sand. 

Aang was saying something to Appa, while the sky bison grumbled and slowly began walking toward the entrance of the cave as Aang coaxed him on. Toph and Katara were saying _something_ , Zuko wasn’t paying attention enough to focus on the actual words. 

Sokka, still holding Zuko’s hand, clasped his other hand over it as well. “Uh,” he said slowly, “hey.”

Zuko met Sokka’s bright, concerned gaze and sighed. 

“Crazy day right?” 

Zuko shrugged. 

“Do you…” Sokka bit his lip for a moment, “want to put the bags down? Grab some firewood with me before the ocean finishes coming in?”

“Sure,” Zuko said, “alright.”

* * *

“I thought you and Katara were getting along better?”

Zuko, two hands on a branch connected to a large log of driftwood, yanked his arms upward with a grimace and snapped the pieces apart. The piece of wood he had was sturdy, a good base for the fire. “We are,” Zuko pointed out. 

Sokka was a bit closer to the tree line, a green bag slung over his shoulders as he filled it with twigs and other kindling. He wasn’t that far away, only a yard or two, and Zuko had a feeling Sokka was staying close to watch him. “Well, not _that_ much better,” Sokka said, adding as an afterthought, “the driftwood is a little wet, it won’t catch fire easily.”

Zuko tossed the sturdy branch toward two others he’d gathered up. He smirked. “Sokka, I know how to make a fire.”

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t…”

“I can use firebending to dry things, too,” Zuko told him, “but I don’t think we’ll have any problems _starting_ the fire.”

Sokka sighed. “Why _did_ I even bring my spark rocks?” He asked, rolling his head back and grinning. “Okay, okay.” 

Zuko went back to the driftwood, certain he could get a few more strong logs out of it, but his eyes flitted back over to Sokka. Who appeared to also be glancing back at Zuko. “We haven’t fought or anything,” Zuko said after a moment of silence, “that’s good, right?”

Sokka snorted. “Sure it is. Keep at it. No more duels with my sister.”

“No dueling,” Zuko said sourly. He brought his foot down on a larger piece, stepping down hard as he lifted the rest up. It came apart slowly, the outside of the wood was dry but, like Sokka had said, it was wet still in the center. He was focused on that and didn’t think to look up from his task until he heard a sea shell crunching right beside him. 

Sokka, the bag discarded and resting on the sand with the other pile of wood, was standing right beside him, hands clasped together and expression oddly nervous. When he saw Zuko looking, he swallowed. “So,” Sokka said. 

Zuko took his foot off the log, standing up taller. “What?” 

“Ah, so,” Sokka looked down. One of his hands found the edge of the cloak over his clothing and Sokka worried the wool between his fingers. “I was…” he sighed, “I don’t know.”

Zuko stepped closer. “Are you okay?”

“ _Yes_ ,” Sokka assured him, “of course. I mean, why wouldn’t I be? I said I was, right?”

“Yeah,” Zuko said, just to say something. 

Sokka’s shoulders were tight, forehead furrowed, and he was frowning, still holding the cloak. He looked almost as anxious as Zuko felt, and the way the slowly setting sun only made the world look steadily more and more gray did nothing to brighten the mood. 

“Are-“ Zuko started to say, right as Sokka said, “I was-" Then they both stopped. 

Sokka chuckled. “Sorry, you want to go first?” 

“No,” Zuko told him, but immediately something sprang to his mind as he continued, “are you mad? That Katara and I aren’t friends?”

“What?” Sokka blinked. “No,” he said, shaking his head, “I don’t care. It would be nice, sure, but that’s not what… I wanted to…” he trailed off. 

“Oh? Alright,” _that was a relief,_ “good.” Zuko frowned. As Sokka’s hands continued holding that cloak, thumbs twisting the material in his hand, Zuko wondered if he should stop him. Then he realized he could, there wasn’t any reason why _not_. 

Taking another step forward, until their feet were almost touching but for a few inches, Zuko reached out and grabbed one of Sokka’s hands. “Oh,” Sokka said, but then dropped the material and squeezed Zuko’s hand enthusiastically, holding him tight. “I was just thinking about my dad,” Sokka explained. 

“Leaving,” Zuko recognized, “it must be hard for you.”

“What about you?” Sokka asked. 

Zuko shrugged. “I don’t know him that well,” he pointed out, “it’s really not that big of a-"

Sokka snorted. “Not _my dad_ , I mean, leaving your uncle,” he explained. He lifted their hands up between them, Sokka’s eyes focusing at that instead of back into Zuko’s face. “It’s probably weird without your uncle. You two were pretty much always together, from what I remember.”

“Not _always_ ,” Zuko said, “but…” Sokka’s thumb brushed into his palm and Zuko sighed. “I don’t know. I should have said more, earlier, maybe. I just-“ he paused. Zuko waited, for several seconds, half expecting Sokka to interrupt him and keep talking but Sokka waited too. “I…” A toucan puffin chirped somewhere, a wave crashed on the shore, and Zuko took a slow breath in. Then out. “At the time I wanted to get it over with. I guess now I can’t stop thinking that I should have gotten off Appa and said another goodbye.”

“Leaving’s hard,” Sokka said, his voice sounding strained. 

Zuko nodded. “I used to think,” Zuko said, his voice sounding oddly calm despite the heartbeat thumping against his throat, “it would feel different. Being here.”

“The Fire Nation,” Sokka said sympathetically, glancing down toward his feet. He kicked a shard of a seashell gently. “Doesn’t seem that terrifying from here.”

“Right,” Zuko said, mainly to himself, “right.”

Sokka looked over to his left, frowning for a long moment toward the ocean before he smiled at Zuko again. “Let’s sit down,” he said, and without waiting for an answer he did, snapping the cloak behind him and sitting on the sand. 

“Should we head back?” Zuko asked, kneeling down to sit anyway, “With the firewood?”

“We have some time before we need to make dinner,” Sokka said with a shrug. He leaned back on his elbows, biting his lip and asked, “Did you… spend much time with the others on the ship?”

“No,” Zuko told him simply, “why?”

“No reason. So, Fire Nation, after three years,” Sokka asked, “what’s going through your head?”

Zuko sighed, and lifted himself up from his knees just enough to sit down beside Sokka. He leaned forward, scowling toward the ocean. “I’m still banished,” Zuko reminded him, “just being here is another treason.”

“What’s one more treason to you?” Sokka joked. 

Zuko groaned and dropped his head to his knee. 

“ _Shit_ , sorry-"

“No, you’re right,” Zuko admitted. “You’re right.”

“I didn’t mean to make you,” Sokka hesitated. “Just… remember, we’ve all got your back. We’re all doing this together, you know? Betting on Aang, betting on each other.” His hand clasped down on Zuko’s shoulder and Zuko lifted his gaze to meet Sokka’s. “But especially me,” Sokka clarified, sounding serious but with a grin on his face that seemed like he was making a joke, “I _especially_ have your back. Don’t forget it.”

“Thank you,” Zuko said softly, “and I have-"

“And I didn’t want to say it,” Sokka interrupted, “in front of the others, but we both know if you were an animal you’d be a turtleduck.”

Zuko snorted in laughter and nudged Sokka with his shoulder. “No.”

“A cute little turtleduck-"

“Stop it.”

“Okay, okay.” Sokka chuckled. “Tomorrow will be easier,” he promised, “no goodbyes.”

“Right,” Zuko said honestly, “we’re just getting supplies and clothes. There really isn’t any way that _could_ go wrong.”

Sokka, for some reason, looked suddenly nervous. “Uh,” he said. 

“What?”

“Maybe you shouldn’t phrase it like _that_.”


	2. The Headband

Zuko’s eyes snapped open at the tail end of a nightmare, still half expecting to see the dark figure bending down over him. The longer he stared toward the entrance of the cave, where a few twinkling stars dangled over dark ocean water, the less tangible the dream became until he wasn’t able to recall any part of it. Zuko wasn’t even sure who it was he’d been dreaming of. 

It _was_ morning, but only technically. The world was still primarily black and deep gray, the sky convinced it was the middle of the night and only a slight color in the rising waves reaching their peak indicated the eventual appearance of the sun. 

He got up anyway, sitting up from the mat on his bed and squinted backward around the cave. 

Aang, Katara, and Toph had settled in by the fire, closer to Appa who was sleeping on his back, his six massive legs twitching in the air as he rumbled the occasional snore, and Momo, wrapped around one of the sky bison’s horns. Zuko had brought his mat and blanket closer to the entrance of the cave, lying on his left side to keep alert during the night, and Sokka had settled beside him. 

Sokka was, right now, buried in a cocoon of a fur blanket, one of his arms thrown over his head and clearly drooling out of the corner of his mouth. He was sleeping well, at least, looking like even if someone came right up to his side, shook him and screamed in the ear, Sokka _still_ wouldn’t wake up.

Zuko couldn’t help but envy him a little, him and the others, as they kept sleeping soundly as if nighttime was as peaceful for them as it was supposed to be. 

Zuko sighed, blinked toward the ocean, and let his blank mind feel nothing as he felt the sun’s presence begin to rise over the horizon. It was going to be awhile before the others were close to waking up, _although_ … He glanced behind him toward Aang. Now was as good a time as any to begin training. 

* * *

_Morning sun_ , Zuko thought to himself, still repeating the poem he’d recited to Aang earlier for the mediation, _evening sun_ _, resting still when battle’s won, the open_ -

“Hey,” Sokka’s voice came from his right, around the same area where Zuko had heard muffled footsteps along sand and the groan of someone stretching. He’d assumed it was Sokka; glad it was. 

Zuko kept his eyes closed, his hands relaxed on his knees in repose. “Good morning, Sokka,” Zuko said, calmly. It _was_ a calm morning, Sokka had been right about the next day feeling different. 

The sun was now hanging well in the sky, and the morning meditation had carefully stoked Zuko’s inner flame, awake and alert. It was good, to have a morning like this, easy to rise, getting an early start to Aang’s training. Aang might not have seemed that excited for the first firebending lesson but he’d settled into it soon enough; Zuko hadn’t heard so much as a word or a rustle of fabric from the area several feet in front of him in a good hour or more. 

“Meditating?” Sokka asked, not waiting for an answer before he continued, “Want to help me get wood for breakfast? I think last night I spotted burdok plants; we could save some money in the city if we find free wild vegetables.”

“Later,” Zuko told him simply, “We're mediating.”

“Um…” 

“What?” Zuko asked, blinking his eyes open. 

He was instantly, painfully aware that the sand in front of him and all around him was empty, besides Sokka looking at him with a concerned expression. There was no sign of Aang besides a timid set of dips in the sand like tiptoed footprints headed back toward the cave. 

Zuko stood up with a start. “Wait.”

Sokka coughed into his hand. “Uh, _Aang_ ,” he started to say. 

“He’s not here,” Zuko said stiffly. 

“No,” Sokka said, shifting his weight awkwardly in the sand, “I think he went with Katara to get fresh water.”

Zuko stared at empty sand in front of him for several seconds before his thoughts finally caught up to the reality of it. “ _When_ ,” Zuko snapped. 

Sokka shrugged. “I dunno,” he said casually, “I wasn’t paying attention.”

Zuko stood up with a start, frowning. “Where,” he looked around, at the long stretch of empty beach, the imprints of sand that headed back toward the cave and then out. Inside the cave, still appearing to sleep was Appa, now lying on his side, Momo was hanging from his horn by the tail, and Toph was yawning, still inside the cave, looking like she’d just woken up. Katara and Aang were nowhere in sight. 

“Uh, maybe,” Sokka said, then paused as he looked back toward the cave, saw Toph, and yawned himself. He raised his hands over his head, stretching as he did. “Hm, wait.”

“ _Wait_?” Zuko demanded, “I was giving Aang a lesson and he just _left_.”

Sokka blinked at him. “Well, looked to me like you were meditating and Aang was just napping.”

“He’s not-" Zuko grimaced and pinched his nose. It wasn’t easy to _avoid_ yelling, especially when every part of him wanted to scream. “It's about meditating to wake up... to the sun _,_ ” Zuko explained through gritted teeth. 

“'Waking up to the sun'?” Sokka asked, “Doesn’t everyone do that?”

“No!” Zuko said, then flinched. _Yelling_ , shit, he didn’t want to… _yell at Sokka_ , he couldn’t-

Sokka just shrugged, seemed unphased by Zuko’s outburst. “Okay, its some firebender thing, or whatever, _bending-stuff_.”

“It was a _lesson_ ,” Zuko explained, “my uncle left out clear instructions and a _plan_.”

“Okay, okay,” Sokka raised his hands as if in surrender, “and I’m sure it was a great lesson…”

“An _easy_ lesson,” Zuko interrupted, clenching his hands into fists at his sides, “it’s just _meditating_.”

“Aang’s got that meditating thing down, I promise,” Sokka said, “and sometimes he can be a little… flighty.”

Zuko frowned. “‘Flighty’,” he repeated, not amused. 

Sokka chuckled. “Yeah, so, maybe next time skip to a lesson that won't put him to sleep.”

“If he was doing it right, it wouldn’t put him to sleep,” Zuko pointed out.

“Look,” Sokka stepped closer, throwing his arm over one of Zuko’s shoulders. “Aang and firebending might be a hard sell, okay? Especially where… Katara is involved, the first time Aang tried firebending it went, uh, _poorly_.” Sokka said, slowly nudging Zuko forward to walk with him. “Hey, at least this means you and I can have some time alone, right?”

Zuko swallowed, suddenly feeling hot, and Sokka just leaned into him. “Y- yeah,” he agreed. 

Sokka grinned. “So,” he said slowly, “lets go get-"

“Are you two going somewhere?!” Toph yelled out from the cave, “Can I come?”

* * *

_There are only four of them_ , Zuko told himself again. Aang, Katara, Toph, and Sokka. Momo made five _maybe_ , the lemur had a habit of being underfoot at all times that it could be counted if Zuko was feeling generous, but mostly it was just four of them. 

Zuko was used to large groups of people, standing with them, or leading them, a crown amongst pebbles - not the same as this. Life at the palace was rarely crowded, not by people actually high up enough in status to be allowed to talk to him; noble families, occasionally their children, none of which Zuko ever got to know. After he’d been banished there had been his ship, and the disgruntled soldiers on it who had technically been under Iroh’s command, not Zuko. Nothing Zuko could thing of that… was similar to how this went. There had never been anything like this uncomfortable… confusing… _group_.

Katara ran ahead first, toward the laundry hung up on lines of string, swinging in the breeze. She was smiling, which Zuko thought was a weird expression on her face, or perhaps one he wasn’t used to. Katara tended to scowl at him whenever he _did_ catch her eye, or watch him with the rapt attention of a crococat waiting for prey to make a mistake. The smile rounded out her cheeks, lit up her eyes, and she turned around with an eager expression, holding a skirt in her hand toward Sokka, who nodded in approval.

They were very alike, Sokka and Katara, at least physically. Zuko had thought too, before he’d met Sokka, that the two had been alike in personality but later decided they were opposites. Maybe they _weren’t_ exact opposites, though. It didn’t seem to be that simple. As Zuko frowned down a row of clothing, trying to focus on the sleeping worker in the chair at the farther end of the field, one hand raised toward the dao ready to grab the swords if needed, he kept flitting his gaze back to the siblings. Sokka showed her a pair of hakama pants and she laughed at something he said. 

“This one is nice,” Aang was saying, handing Toph something for her to touch. She dismissed it, loudly, for being ‘scratchy’, and Zuko looked nervously back at the sleeping worker. 

The worker kept on sleeping. 

Zuko touched the end of a random brown tunic with his fingertips, something heavy settling in his stomach. He wasn’t… stupid enough to think they had the money to pay for this. What little they _did_ have needed to be budgeted for food; Zuko had heard plenty from Sokka already about provisions and the schedule, there was no way they _could_ afford this clothing, which was nice, in good condition, just one set could buy them all a week’s worth of hot meals and a place to stay. 

He just hoped everything they took belonged to someone who could afford to lose it. Aang had said as much too, before bounding after Katara to grab something that caught his eye. 

“This feels nice,” Aang said, as a breeze passing through the field snapped through the fabric in a ripple effect of scattered noise. 

“I _do_ like this,” Toph said eagerly, “it’s softer than the others.”

Zuko frowned again, trying to keep from watching Katara and Sokka out of the corner of his eye while he focused on the worker. They hadn’t been out here long, but a minute already seemed like too much to chance. If he was alone, Zuko wouldn’t have felt as worried about it, but if there was one defining feature that everyone in this group, himself included, seemed to share it was being _loud_.

Finally, after what could barely be considered a long time under any measurement but certainly felt it, Sokka looked over at him. 

Sokka smiled and Zuko turned his head, pointed, to nod over at the still sleeping worker. 

Some kind of expression passed over Sokka’s face, Zuko didn’t know what it was. Or what it could mean. But Sokka gave him another long glance and then walked over to the others to usher them back. 

Eventually they all ducked back down out of sight. The field with the laundry overlooked a small outcropping that hid them well enough, a few dips in the wall where the others could duck inside to quickly change. Zuko kept himself half up the ledge, catching one foot into the rock to keep an eye on the worker they’d stolen from. 

Sokka tapped his ankle. “Hey?” 

Zuko looked down at him for a moment before returning his focus to the danger. “What is it?”

“Uh… nothing, I guess.” 

Zuko nodded. 

“The clothes? What do… do they look Fire Nation-y?” Sokka asked. 

“They’re all red,” Zuko reminded him. 

“Yes, I _am_ wearing red,” Sokka said slowly, “I was more curious about what you think- that I look- I mean, as the Fire Nation expert. You have to have an opinion, right?”

Zuko frowned. He let his arm fall from the side of the ledge and stepped down, for a moment, to look at Sokka. 

Sokka had been right to grow out his hair, without that he would have looked plenty suspicious. As it was, he looked fine. He was more tan than most people outside the equator islands but that wouldn’t raise eyebrows; red collar, long tunic that ended just above pants that only went below the knee, sandals… it was “Fine,” Zuko said with a shrug. 

Sokka held out his arms. “Just fine?” He asked. 

“Fine…” Zuko said slowly, feeling like he was missing something but not sure what. “You look like you’d pass for a Fire Nation citizen?” 

“Right!” Sokka said loudly, “That’s uh… that _is_ what’s important.” He coughed. “Uh, what about you, you didn’t get anything?”

“My clothing is already red,” Zuko reminded him. He couldn’t help but look down at himself to confirm; brown long-sleeve tunic, yellow wrap, maroon pants that tucked into his boots. “It’s fine.”

“Didn’t you say you looked like a chef once?” Sokka asked him. 

“ _On_ a ship,” Zuko said. “The Fire Nation is full of sailors, I think it’s fine.” 

“I guess if you think its fine,” Sokka said, giving Zuko a curious look as if he wasn’t quite sure if he agreed with him. “You did forget the uh… you know.”

Zuko blinked at him for a moment, not sure what Sokka was talking about until Sokka raised his hand to vaguely gesture to his face. _The eyepatch_ , of course. Iroh had thought Zuko’s scar might be too recognizable, especially in the Fire Nation while they needed to keep a low cover. “Right,” Zuko said. 

“This seems nice,” Toph said loudly, stepping back toward the others in the group. “I like the feel of it but do I have to wear the shoes?”

Zuko swallowed, ignoring her as he reached into his pocket for the black fabric. 

“I think people might notice a girl running around without shoes,” Sokka told her. 

“Hm, well then!” Toph said loudly, leaning back to grab her shoe up in the air. She kicked out the bottom of the shoes, with a chuckle, just as Aang came around the corner in his own clothes. “What do you think?” She asked, wiggling her toes, “Blind earthbender friendly _and_ incognito!”

Zuko slipped the eyepatch over his face, adjusting the strap behind his ear. It was large, didn’t quite wrap over the full side of his face but was enough to cover the scar as long as he let his hair fall down over the top of it. The difference in his sight wasn’t much, the left side of his vision went from a bright smudge of indecipherable nonsense to black. “Better?” He asked, hating as he said it how quiet he sounded. 

Sokka glanced at him quickly, “Yeah,” he said, before turning back to Aang and Toph, “Okay, I think everyone is fine.”

“How do I look?” Katara said, from somewhere behind Zuko as she approached the group. 

Zuko couldn’t find himself caring less about the others in the moment. Aang was rambling about something, as Sokka shrugged and Toph looked a bit annoyed at Katara, but Zuko just clenched his hand into a fist after he was tempted to raise it back up to his face. 

Of course it was _better_. Covering his face like this. He should have- maybe he should have been doing it earlier. It’s not as if Sokka… Sokka knew what he looked like, Sokka didn’t care about that, Zuko was sure; Zuko’s face didn’t matter to him, or, Sokka liked him in spite of it. 

Sokka liked Zuko in spite of _quite a lot_ of things about Zuko.

Which was nice, Zuko decided as he looked carefully at the back of Sokka’s neck. It was. Nice. Good. The scar seemed to bother Zuko more than it did Sokka, of course it did, Sokka was… better than him. Still. Sokka was the one who had to _look_ at it. So maybe this was, maybe, it _was_ easier to look at him like this? Zuko couldn’t fault Sokka for that, in fact it made a lot more sense than the alternative. 

“What do you think?” Toph asked him. 

Zuko blinked at her. She was facing his direction, standing right in front of his face, so it had to be a question to him, after all Aang was saying something to Katara about flowers while Katara and Sokka looked confused a few feet away so it couldn’t be any of them. “About what?” 

“My feet!” Toph said, stomping one foot into the ground. “I think it’s pretty clever.”

“Okay,” Zuko said curiously. “But you _sense_ your surroundings, right?”

“With vibrations, yeah,” Toph reminded him with a frown, “I told you that on the ship.”

“Why does it make a difference if you can touch the ground or not?” Zuko asked her. He looked over her head at Sokka, who had one hand on his chin while frowning at Aang.

“I guess…” Toph said, sounding somehow annoyed and grateful at the same time, “if I _have_ to explain, it’s like trying to listen to something when there’s loud music. It’s not as clear, y’know? Like I can only ‘see’ half of it.”

“I can understand,” Zuko said solemnly.

“Huh,” Toph said, throwing her hands on her hips with a grin, “guess I’m pretty good at explaining stuff.”

“Sure,” Zuko agreed. Something in his head clicked. Lowering his voice, Zuko leaned down slightly and asked, “When you’re teaching Aang, has he ever-"

“Left? Thrown a fit? Acted like a wuss?” Toph interrupted.

“Yes,” Zuko said gratefully. 

Toph grinned brightly and, stepping forward, inexplicably tried to jab her elbow into Zuko’s side. Zuko knocked her hand away with his arm, frowning at her, but she continued, as if that behavior was normal, “I figured you might need me to show you the ropes. It’s not easy being the new kid,” Toph told him confidently, “Aang and the water siblings have known each other for awhile.”

“I’ve known them longer than you,” Zuko pointed out.

“Yeah,” Toph admitted with a shrug, “but they hated you.”

Zuko frowned. “That’s… accurate,” he said reluctantly. 

“So-" Toph started to say. 

“Hey!” Sokka said loudly, he was waving at them despite only being a few feet away, “We’re all dressed, so, let’s get moving _away_ from the scene of the crime, guys.”

“I wasn’t,” Aang stuttered, “I was just trying to say…”

Sokka slung an arm over Aang’s shoulder, saying something quietly into his ear. 

Toph shrugged and grabbed Zuko’s arm when he started to walk forward. Zuko paused, thinking she was trying to say something but then she nudged him to keep moving. 

Zuko walked, with Toph on his arm, his forehead furrowed down as he looked at her. He guessed he was her guide, the road back to the village _was_ through a forest, the walking probably wasn’t as easy when sticks and leaves got in the way. Still, she could have picked anyone else for a better choice; the both of them had only one functional eye between them. 

Katara paused to look behind her, giving Zuko an indecipherable expression somewhere between curiosity and a glare. 

* * *

“Okay,” Sokka was saying, looking carefully at the town around them. As they’d first walked in, Zuko had seen the way Sokka’s back had straightened, his eyes had darted around at every noise, tense and worried, but as they had walked down toward the docks and the shops and no one had looked at their group twice, his shoulders visibly relaxed. Aang and Katara paved the way ahead without any of that level of concern, more focused on sightseeing and curiosity than any danger, far more confident in the new disguises than Sokka appeared to be. 

Toph, her arm still wrapped around Zuko, didn’t seem much different. It was probably easier for them; Sokka’s disguise didn’t leave room for any weapons more than a boomerang tucked into the back of his shirt away from view. Everyone else had bending, besides the dao strapped to Zuko’s side; dao was a Fire Nation weapon originally and not one that would raise any red flags the way Sokka’s club would have. 

“We can grab a bite to eat,” Sokka started to say.

“Yes!” Toph said loudly. 

Sokka frowned at her. “But we shouldn’t spend too much time here, alright? A hot meal and we can shop for food supplies _only_ , then it’s back to the camp. Right?”

“C’mon, Sokka,” Katara said with a roll of her eyes. She gestured down toward the docks and some of the buildings by the road where they were walking. “I don’t think any of us _want_ to spend any more time in this town than we have to.”

“Why not?” Zuko demanded. 

“I dunno,” Aang said brightly, taking a step toward an abandoned cart with a few wildflowers tucked into empty jars, “this is a nice place! I mean, last time I was in the Fire Nation it was for this festival, streets like this were covered in paper dragon lanterns and this art-"

“That was a hundred years ago,” Katara reminded.

“Yeah, but the Fire Nation has its own charm,” Aang said with a smile. He touched one of the flowers as Momo poked his head curiously out of his shirt. “Maybe the more you see of it-"

“I’ve seen enough,” Katara said sternly. She crossed her arms; for once though, not taking the opportunity to give Zuko a cross look, her eyes more focused on three men standing at the edge of a square in army uniform. 

They weren’t paying attention to their group, talking amongst themselves, but the sun still hit on the edge of one of the soldier’s metal armored shoulders in a way that was hard to stop from noticing them. 

“I dunno,” Sokka said, “not _everything_ Fire Nation is so bad.” 

“Gross,” Katara said immediately. 

Sokka, apparently unbothered, gave Zuko a smile that had heat rising on his face. And then he turned, visibly sniffing the air and said with excitement, “Anyone else smell that?”

“Food,” Toph said, leaning forward and tugging Zuko’s arm along with her. “Can we eat _now_?” 

“That does smell good,” Katara admitted, walking next to Sokka. She paused, mistep, and glanced over at Zuko as if she was embarrassed; Zuko had no idea why. 

He didn’t _get_ Katara, Zuko knew that.

“Doesn’t it smell kind of… meaty?” Aang asked from somewhere behind them. 

Toph headed over toward the smell, apparently her nose was just as good at ‘seeing’ as her feet. It would have been hard to miss though, the smell of searing fish and other meats and spices was intense the closer they got toward the restaurant. “So, what _is_ the most popular food from the Fire Nation?” She asked. 

“Rice, technically,” Zuko told her.

Jogging up to Zuko’s side, Sokka didn’t give any warning as he wrapped his arm over Zuko’s shoulder. Effectively pining Zuko between the two of them. “ _Rice_!” Sokka said enthusiastically, “good one, but more seriously…” He said, looking curiously at the building in front of them. 

It looked like it had seen better days but was still lovingly maintained, a curtain covered the doorway but open windows let the smell of the cooking food out into the street. There was a thatched wooden roof with curved eaves, painted with chipped yellow, that seemed much older than the fresh, clean Fire Nation insignias overtop of the design. 

“Well,” Zuko said, something anxious in his stomach tightening as Sokka kept his arm on him. “We’re in the inland sea, this region tends to specialize in fishing, I think crawfish; this island does have cattle they raise, it's rarer but-"

“Like that smelly hippocow over there?” Sokka asked, pointing over to it with his free arm. Not too far away from the restaurant _was_ , in fact, the creature which… didn’t look as appetizing in person as Zuko remembered it tasting. 

“Uh, yes,” Zuko admitted awkwardly. 

“We’re really going to eat there?” Aang asked, “It kind of looks like… a lot of meat.”

“Smells good,” Toph said, “can we go in now?” 

“It’s the Fire Nation, everyone here eats meat,” Sokka said. 

Zuko shrugged Sokka’s arm off his shoulders, trying to look over Toph’s head toward the soldiers at the edge of the square but it was hard to see them past Katara. She frowned at him when he caught her eye and Zuko grimaced. “C’mon,” he said, urging Toph forward and forcing himself not to look behind him, “let’s go.”

“Finally,” Toph said brightly.

“Uh,” Sokka said from behind them, and Zuko could hear after a moment him scrambling to follow. “Right, lets, Katara? Aang?” 

It was just a meal, no one had looked at them strangely, and even the theft of the clothing had gone off without a hitch in the plan. _Maybe_ , Zuko thought, as he parted the curtain for him and Toph as they walked inside the building, _Sokka is wrong to be so cautious_.

* * *

“I thought you said he was fine,” Zuko hissed. 

“He just wandered off, he wanders sometimes,” Sokka said, his arms twitching down at his sides. He was looked, his eyes darting around the dirt square as frantically anxious as Zuko felt in his chest. “He’s a wanderer.”

“Nomad,” Katara said quietly. “Toph?”

“I don’t sense him nearby,” Toph said quietly. “But it can be hard to find one person in a crowd, or if they’re really far away so-"

“He could just be around the corner,” Sokka decided. He swallowed, loudly. “Maybe he and Momo spotted a fruit cart or something?” He turned around sharply and focused his bright blue eyes directly on Zuko. 

They hadn’t been eating long, less than half an hour, just enough for some fresh food and incredibly stilted conversation. Sokka kept asking Zuko what foods were ‘best’, Zuko had tried his best to avoid describing the subpar offerings of the restaurant as ‘peasant food’ while explaining the Fire Nation did have better, Katara had been ready with a sarcastic comment after everything Zuko said, and, Toph just ate and seemed amused by the whole thing. 

“He does this a lot?” Zuko asked, something twisting inside his stomach as he looked to his left, at an empty, insignificant space in the dirt beside a building. Where three soldiers had previously been standing. As Zuko met Sokka’s gaze again, he knew Sokka had made the same connection. 

“Let’s look around for him,” Sokka decided. 

Katara snorted. “ _Wow_.”

“ _What_ , Katara?!”

Toph, still hanging over at Zuko’s left, pushed her elbow against his side. Leaning upward, in a way that compelled Zuko to tilt his head down toward her, Toph muttered, “Here we go.”

Zuko was going to ask what she meant, before Katara squared her shoulders and walked right into Sokka’s face with a ferocity that Sokka matched with a scowl.

“What do you mean, ‘what’?” Katara demanded, “You’ve been bossing us around since we _left_ -"

“Well, someone has to keep everyone on track!” Sokka said loudly, “Apparently if I turn my eye for a second someone goes missing!” 

Zuko glanced around them, grateful for the most part that in the middle of the day the town appeared mostly unpopulated. Anyone who had work was likely there, though that didn’t account for the two people working in the restaurant just behind them and one woman, who seemed rather old, walking by the other end of the square with a bag in her hands. She gave their group only a quick glance before rolling her eyes and continuing on her way. 

“Who put _you_ in charge? We’re a team!” Katara said, jabbing her finger against Sokka’s chest. 

“Hey!” 

“You’re just showing off!”

“I’m the one who came up with the schedule!”

“You _and_ Dad! That doesn’t mean you get to order us around like you’re the leader, or is that what you _told_ Zuko you are?” Katara snapped at him. Her free hand, the one by her hip, flexed like she was itching to bend. A spot in Zuko’s stomach, where scar tissue was still tense, felt suddenly cold. 

“What does Zuko have to- Zuko has nothing to do with this!” 

“ _Oh_ , suddenly you _don’t_ want to talk about Zuko?!” Katara snapped, “That seems to be the _only_ thing you want to talk about lately-" Her hand twitched again. 

Zuko stomped forward, grabbed Katara’s hand by the wrist and pushed it away from Sokka. Glaring, something in his stomach boiling, Zuko met her surprised look with a snarl. 

“Zuko?” Sokka said from behind him, sounding worried, “everything’s fi-"

“What do _you_ want?” Katara demanded, lifting herself up on her toes to look Zuko straight in the eye.

“Get,” Zuko snapped at her, “your hands _off_ -"

“Whoa, wait,” Sokka interrupted. 

Katara’s nose wrinkled. “I wasn’t about to,” she said, loud and indignant, “what? _Hurt_ him?”

Zuko could feel Sokka’s hand reach up to pat him on the shoulder. He shrugged it off immediately, stepping forward the few inches available into Katara’s face. “Don’t you _dare_ ,” Zuko continued.

“You two are _ridiculous_ ,” Katara said. 

“Don’t you _ever_ ,” Zuko said, his inner fire hot enough that his blood was nearly at a boil, “ _threaten to_ -"

“To _what_?!” Katara shouted at him, “What do you think I was-“

“Uh, hey, Zuko, remember the thing I said about ‘don’t duel my sister anymore’?” 

“We’re _arguing_ ,” Katara said angrily, her eyes flashing with emotion, “ _normal_ sisters can argue with their brothers without _stabbing_ them!”

Zuko’s breath exhaled with heat and he couldn’t think of anything to say back. 

“Katara,” Sokka said quietly. 

“I’m going to _look_ for Aang!” She said, stepping back suddenly and looking away from him. “Come on, Toph.”

“Ugh, I, alright-"

She lifted her head, scowling but not meeting Zuko's eye as Katara walked over to where Toph was. Taking her arm, Katara started to lead a sour-faced Toph away from the others, although Toph knocked her arm away quickly. Still, Toph followed her after giving Zuko an awkward wave behind Katara's back. 

“We’ll meet back up at camp when it gets late,” Sokka called out to her.

“ _Fine_!” Katara said, walking quickly away from them like she already knew where they were going. “But you _aren’t_ the boss of me.”

“I never said-" Sokka started to say, and then sighed, watching Katara leaving with Toph. “Fine, fine.” Sokka took a step forward to stand by Zuko’s side, close enough that Zuko could hear him take a slow breath in.

As Katara and Toph walked around a corner and out of sight, the heat that had raged up inside Zuko’s chest disappeared like a candle that had been blown out and suddenly Zuko felt cold. That had been so, _so_ stupid. What had been the one, most important thing Sokka had asked from him? _Don’t fight with Katara_ \- and Zuko had, he’d just- his throat was heavy as Zuko swallowed. “I-" Zuko said. 

“We can start looking at the tracks,” Sokka said, just as Zuko had spoken, quick enough to have missed it. “Though there really isn’t much to go on here; I don’t even know what the bottom of Aang’s new shoes look like.” Sokka had bent down, frowning at the ground as if even this mostly flat road could hold some clues. 

“This… we could hire an animal to track him,” Zuko offered.

“I don’t think we have the money for that,” Sokka said, leaning back on his heels and frowning. “And we don’t want to attract unnecessary attention.”

“Of course,” Zuko agreed.

Sokka sat up, clapping his hands together to get the dirt off on them. He glanced for a moment at the direction where the girls had left, looking like he’d just tasted something sour. “So, about Katara-"

“We can find the soldiers from before and ask if they saw where he went,” Zuko said, “they were the only ones here.”

Sokka’s jaw dropped. “You want to…” He asked, “ask _Fire Nation soldiers_ if they’ve seen _Aang_?”

“They don’t _know_ he’s Aang, my uncle said the White Lotus has been planting stories about Aang still in the Earth Kingdom,” Zuko pointed out, “we’ll just tell them he’s your friend and he wandered off.”

“That’s… a _last_ resort,” Sokka said with a grimace, “Aang is probably just goofing off somewhere.”

“I’m not suggesting it because I _like_ the idea.” Zuko met Sokka’s eyes, only for an instant, a flash of blue and that cold feeling inside him grew tight. Looking at the ground, for tracks? What tracks could he possibly hope to see- he looked down anyway, kicking at nothing with a scowl on his face. “‘ _Goofing off_ ’,” Zuko said with annoyance.

“Look that’s, Aang, it’s probably nothing.”

“Or it _is_ ‘something’,” Zuko said. In the opposite direction from where Katara left was another road, this one heading away from the main shops into what looked like housing. Determined, without a word, Zuko started walking. 

After a second Sokka jogged up to Zuko’s side to join him. “Anyway that’s,” he said, and then didn’t say anything else to finish the thought. He continued on silently, matching Zuko’s pace. 

A few seconds later, after they passed the restaurant and were heading down the road, Sokka reached out for Zuko’s hand. 

Flinching, Zuko snapped his hand away from him before Sokka could hold it. “What are you-" Zuko started to say, his heart beating in his throat as he quickly glanced around them to be sure no one saw.

“ _Oh_ ,” Sokka said softly.

“Thinking?!” Zuko demanded.

“Nothing, I’m not thinking anything,” Sokka shook his head. “Let’s just keep walking.”

Zuko did, stalking forward down the road. He’d been right about the town being quiet this time of day, anyone who was out as they moved seemed to be either old or very young. Anyone in the middle would be working, or caught up in the draft long ago. The road went from packed dirt to a bit looser the longer they walked, a winding road that steadily seemed to be heading uphill away from the docks and growing steadily nicer as they went. The higher from the ocean the more expensive the houses were; probably safer in the monsoon season.

Sokka was walking so slowly that Zuko had to keep holding himself back to keep from leaving him behind. His arms were wrapped over his stomach, head bowed, _miserable_ in a way that only grew the cold feeling in Zuko’s chest until he had to concentrate to keep breathing. Sokka was looking for Aang too, though every time Zuko glanced over at him Sokka seemed to be pointedly looking directly opposite from where Zuko was. 

_Fuck_ , Zuko thought, a drum of expletives shouting in his head with every step he took, _fuck, fuck!_ Why had he been so angry at Katara? It was _stupid_ , the way that _everything_ Zuko did was stupid; he’d messed up again, the way he always did, and why had Sokka even tried to grab his hand like he’d forgotten _where they were_. Hadn’t Sokka been the one to point out they didn’t want to attract _unnecessary_ attention?

This way led nowhere, it ended by a field at the top of the hill, the one nicest house of the lot surrounded by a low gate and an orchard that looked as if it hadn’t been tended to properly in decades, old roots and dead branches along the ground. The only thing left to do it seemed was double back and follow a different road.

“Where does he go?” Zuko asked, “Usually?”

Sokka looked up at him, startled. “Huh?”

“ _Aang_ ,” Zuko reminded, “when he goes off by himself? Would he be…” he thought for a moment, “looking for frogs? Should we check the woods for streams or ponds?”

“Frogs?” One of Sokka’s eyes rose with confusion. “Why would Aang go looking for frogs?”

“Why would he _go_ anywhere at all?” Zuko said, his voice coming out with a far harsher tone than he meant it to. “If we can’t ask anyone or it’ll draw too much attention our options for finding him are pretty limited!” 

Sokka frowned at him and Zuko felt a sudden, incredibly powerful urge to run as far away from him as possible. “Do you _want_ to attract more attention? You’re the one who’s sticking out right now, dressed like you just came off some boat instead of picking clothes that would actually _fit in_ ,” Sokka pointed out, “after you made it very clear your _life_ is on the line if you’re recognized!”

“I wasn’t-" Zuko couldn’t help but quickly look toward the house around them and down the road, relieved to see it appeared deserted besides a few toucan puffins. “I wasn’t about to _steal_ from my-"

“‘Steal’?” Sokka repeated, his mouth dropping open. “ _You_ weren’t going to steal?! You told me you stole in the Earth Kingdom all the time!”

“It’s different!” Zuko insisted, “This is, these are my people and I'm-"

Sokka crossed his arms and glared. “So the _Fire Nation_ citizens are too good for you to steal from but the Earth Kingdom isn’t?” 

“Yes,” Zuko said without thinking, before the surprised look in Sokka’s eyes and his own mind caught up to the meaning of those words. “ _No_ ,” he corrected quickly, “that’s not-"

“Is _that_ why you’re mad at me?” Sokka said, his eyebrows furrowing and mouth drawn into a hard lining, “because I _stole_ from your precious _Fire Nation_?” 

“I’m not-" _mad at you_ , Zuko said, “I,” feeling like there was a block in his mind between thoughts that couldn’t catch up to the pace of his mouth, “it’ _s_ different for you-"

“Because I’m a ‘peasant’?” Sokka demanded, “Too good for you to be seen with in your own Fire Nation?”

“What?” 

“It’s all _fine_ on the ship, when the only ones who can see us are Water Tribe or your uncle,” Sokka said, crossing his arms.

“I thought you _didn’t_ want to attract attention,” Zuko said angrily, “do you honestly think you can just… hold hands with me in the _middle of the street_ and no one would notice?”

“Who cares?!” Sokka said loudly, and inexplicably. 

Zuko blinked at him, not even sure what Sokka was saying, or why, or how the clothes Zuko was wearing could possibly be an issue whereas Sokka thought the other, _far_ more attention-getting act _wasn’t_. “Everyone?” Zuko said, confused. 

Sokka groaned, and dropped his head to pinch his nose between his thumb and his forefinger. “ _Why_?”

Zuko felt a breeze that passed by them from deep in his chest and, without any control over it, he shivered. “We just- I mean what do you think?”

Raising an eyebrow, Sokka stepped back from him and looked confused. “Did you just ask me what I think about what _you’re_ thinking?” 

“No?” Zuko asked.

“I- you,” Sokka said, the frown on his face getting deeper, “you- you look like a pirate! With the clothes, and the eyepatch, and the swords!”

“A _pirate_?!”

“Yes! You look like a pirate!”

“Okay!” Zuko said loudly, throwing out his arms, “And?”

“And, nothing, you-" Sokka grimaced. “I don’t even know what I’m…” Stepping back, he sighed. “Listen, this whole thing with Aang, I’m sure it’s nothing,” he said, his voice softer, “and I, Katara is great, but sometimes she just says things that are _really_ , really not nice. She means well, most of the time, and I don’t know what her problem with you…” Sokka coughed. “Okay, well, I guess I _do_ know what her problem is.”

Zuko closed his eyes for a long moment. “Yeah,” he agreed, "I know."

Sokka took a step forward, closing in the space he’d put between them. He raised his head to meet Zuko’s eyes, as something strong began to beat in the back of Zuko’s throat. “Honestly,” Sokka said quietly, “just _being here_ has me on edge too.”

He was- “Sokka,” Zuko muttered.

Despite his best instincts, as Sokka reached up to rest his hands on Zuko’s neck, Zuko stayed still, focusing on the slowly uplifting curve of a smile on Sokka’s face. “So,” Sokka said quietly, “it’s just the two of us, maybe we get the supplies and meet the others later? Take advantage of the time alone?”

“Advantage?” Zuko repeated, his breath coming in short. 

“Yeah,” Sokka cupped his fingers on the back of Zuko’s neck and leaned forward. “Honestly, with Aang running off and Katara and Toph out looking for him, it’s kind of perfect right?”

Perfect _was_ a word, one that fit more the way Sokka’s nose wrinkled slightly when he smiled, the bright blue of his eyes more brilliant than the dull gray sky in the moment, or the fact Sokka’s breath still smelled like the meal they’d eaten but it didn’t matter; Zuko wanted to bury his head in his neck and hold him for hours. Like on the ship, when Zuko could wrap his arms around Sokka and Sokka could the same and he could just _be_ , and it felt natural and easy. Zuko sighed, leaning his head forward until his forehead touched Sokka’s. 

“Aang was asking me about,” Sokka said softly, as Zuko closed his eyes and just let himself _listen._ “You, oddly enough, or I guess _us_ , and poetry and I actually, well, the way things have been I wanted to ask-"

Zuko heard a branch snap somewhere down the road. 

Quickly, not a moment’s hesitation, Zuko pushed Sokka away from him, dislodging Sokka’s hands from his neck and took several steps away. He coughed, brushed his hand on his shirt, hands moving a bit frantically as Zuko turned his head toward the direction where the sound had been. 

It was a younger woman, with a basket in hand, coming up the road. She was far away, seemed focused on whatever she was holding and didn’t so much as look at either of them. 

Zuko breathed in slowly through his nose, feeling the sudden tension in his chest relax, until he turned his attention back to Sokka and froze. “I,” Zuko said, unhelpfully. 

Wide-eyed, staring at him with an expression of so many emotions crossed over one another, Sokka looked as shocked as if Zuko had punched him in the stomach. He blinked, three times, which was how Zuko realized time had passed as they’d just looked at each other, as Sokka looked like _that_ and Zuko stood, dumb, frozen and saying nothing else. 

“Okay,” Sokka said gently. He closed his eyes for a moment and put his hand on his hips. 

“Just wait,” Zuko mumbled under his breath, keeping an eye on the girl who was walking passed them. 

“No, no, _no_ no no,” Sokka shook his head vigorously. “Don’t worry about it, nope, _all_ fine, yes, it’s fine. _I'm_ fine! I’ll see you later.”

Zuko felt something sharp clenching in his stomach. “You’re going?”

“Yes, _obviously_ that’s what you… so I’ll go. Grab the supplies, you can look for Aang, no worries.” Sokka straightened up his back, something grim in the hard line of his mouth. “Why would there be worries? I’ll see you later.”

“I…” Zuko started to say. 

Taking a step to leave, Sokka paused at Zuko’s voice and looked back. Waiting.

“I’ll see you later,” Zuko said. 

Sokka nodded at him, swallowing hard, and then turned away. Leaving, walking significantly faster than he had before. 

Zuko watched him, as a sinking, returning chorus in his head reminded him he was _so stupid_. He should do something, no, he’d done enough, maybe they needed to keep talking, but wouldn’t that make it worse, was this their first fight? Did all of the other fights count or only the ones after they’d begun calling each other ‘boyfriend’? _Were_ they still? _Shit, shit_ , why did he say what he said, why’d he just say whatever popped into mind instead of _thinking_ -

“Hi,” the girl said. 

Zuko stared at her. 

“You okay?” She asked, tucking her basket under one arm and smiling at him, “You look a little-"

“ _What_?!” Zuko snapped at her. 

“Wow,” the girl said, rolling her eyes, “ _rude_.”

The fire inside of him raged, like it was bursting inside him, one tiny new straw of agitation to fan the flames and he could combust. Without another glance toward the direction where Sokka had left, Zuko turned in a sharp about-face and headed into the woods.

* * *

There was ash deep under his nails and over his fingers, impossible to scrape off any more than he’d tried. It turned the edges of his hand black, as if they were made of the same wood driftwood that Zuko had been burning. 

He’d built a bonfire, figured it was a good enough beacon; smoke in the sky if Aang happened to look up, but Zuko knew his head hadn’t actually been focused on the Avatar. It _should_ have been. Finding Aang, training Aang, watching out for Aang, _those_ were supposed to be Zuko’s priorities regardless of anything else. Strong-willed focus, concentration on the goal, and everything… everything a firebender was _supposed_ to do, supposed to be.

Yet, Sokka was the most distracting subject in the world; if Zuko had known _that_ for a fact while Sokka and him were _doing well_ than it was astronomical to compare that level of disconcerting attention the subject of Sokka occupied in Zuko’s mind when they _weren’t_.

There were splinters in his palms, aggravating little things, from before Zuko remembered to use his swords to hack the driftwood into pieces rather than snap the branches apart with his own hands. Iroh had always stressed meditation by sitting down and breathing, thus emptying the mind, though Zuko couldn’t help but find it significantly easier to keep his thoughts quiet when his body was moving. Now, far later, his back and arms now aching from the exertion, everything had come back to him in a rush. Zuko stood outside the cave with the sun setting behind him, frozen in place before he walked forward to face the others. 

Pressing one hand up to his face to be sure the fabric was still there, covering the scar, Zuko took a slow breath in through his nose and then walked forward as if he had never paused in the first place. He straightened his shoulders with the same stiffness he would have if he’d been wearing his armor, chin jutted outward and toes pointed front. 

A walk that appeared wasted on the group in the cave, huddled around the fire, as they noticed his approach with different levels of nonchalance. 

Katara was holding a scroll in her lap, her back against one of Appa’s legs as the large creature was lying down with its huge eyes closed, only opening slightly as Zuko approached. Toph had her hand on some weird object on the ground, which looked like a pile of dry noodles; and as Zuko stepped closer only Aang looked up at him and smiled. Aang, sheepishly, waved one of his hands at Zuko while a red flush tinted his cheeks. “So,” Aang started to say. 

Zuko frowned around the cave, looking, as he felt his eyebrows furrowing as his search continued. 

Katara, abruptly, jumped to her feet. 

“Where’s Sokka?” Zuko asked her.

A confused emotion crossed Katara’s face that sent a chill along his back. “Sokka is with you,” Katara said slowly, her eyes widening. 

Zuko blinked at her. “He left me to buy the supplies,” he said, stilted. 

Katara drew in a sharp breath. “When?”

“Hours ago,” Zuko told her. 

_Hours_ ago. It shouldn’t take hours to buy rice and dried fruits, it shouldn’t have even taken a _single_ hour. 

“Uh,” Aang said, standing up and awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck, “is now a bad time to tell you that I enrolled in a Fire Nation school?”

**Author's Note:**

> for updates about my work, my original project, or just generally to be kind, please consider following me on twitter @hollywilsonblue 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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